Holes
I do not need to wait for you
I do not need you to call
I do not need to miss you
Or catch you when you fall
I do not want to rely on you
I don't feel incomplete
I love the feeling of loving you
And hearing the sound of your feet.
You do not leave a hole in me
Though I know emptiness
You will not fill the kind of hole
That hangs below my chest.
I know that when you show yourself
I see your holes as well
It fills me up to think that I
Could have your magic spell.
I feel as though I matter
I’m one hundred percent human
but you say you love me so much
I forget I am not golden
And the minute I’m alone
And faced with my own faults
Off-stage, applause has ended
Nothing left to fill the vault.
I reach inside and feel around
For any speck or crumb
Try singing my own praises
But I’m tired, empty, dumb
I do not need to wait for you
But I’m all out of gas
You are the last chance station
On the way to Sunday Mass
I do not need you to call
But I’m leaking from my exhaust
Yeah my heart has its own damn leak
And my fuel’s always getting lost
I do not need to miss you
Or catch you when you fall
But it feels so good when my cups not empty,
Even with just a little
Even if for no time at all
Everybody’s got that one old friend
You know the one I’m talking about
The one that doesn’t like to hang around
But doesn’t like to feel left out
Back and forth and back and forth again
Like a carnival ride
Complaining, raising hell but never gone
Just cannot decide
Somebody should
Just slap ‘em good
Anything you say
Never will sway
All your solutions
Put ‘em back on the shelf cause
You can’t fix anybody but yourself
The one that lives inside of his head
And thinks that he’s the best
So he never stops talking just to make himself laugh
Never gives it a rest
The one that lives with some unwritten rules
To feel she’s good enough
She doesn’t trust anyone
And never lets go, how does she
Juggle all that stuff?
Somebody should
Just slap ‘em good
Anything you say
Never will sway
All your solutions
Put ‘em back on the shelf cause
You can’t fix anybody but yourself
Lean in to the points that are sharp
Others will always show you just where they are
In time you’ll see, just as clear as a bell
That you can’t fix anybody but yourself
You ever wonder why these few people
Come into our lives
They knead you, poke you, do stupid s***
That you would never do, right?
They get right up in your face
And never listen to what you say
Guess what? They are just you-
Inside a different mask that day
Somebody should
Just slap you good
Anything they say
Never will sway
All their solutions, well they can
Put ‘em back on the shelf cause
You can’t fix anybody no
You can’t change anybody no
You can’t fix anybody but yourself
Will I ever stop searching for you
ever stop wondering where you
are and will I ever feel the
same as I did when you were
here and will I ever get to
be with you again and feel at
home again, that loved again, i'd
never have to wander
so I will
Stay right here cause its the
best place i've found so
far, and I will stay right
here, cause its the
closest thing to you i've felt
its been so long, what else can I do?
You may be far away
you may be close, you
may be just around the corner
waiting for me to give up and
go, go on with my real life
just let go of all the lies, you
never wanted me to feel like
i'm not good enough
I sing a song that I once knew
cause it reminds me of the
things you used to teach me about
how to feel how to talk
how to play how to sing
and as I sing it now
all I know is I know how
because you knew that
this is how I say the things that
my heart needs to
say, say, say, say
and I will
this is all I've got
songs about what I have not
because I cant stop feeling that what
I have not is what a home should
be, but I have warmth and love
a simple kind of feeling of
a simple kind of destiny that
tells me to stop searching
so I can
chorus
what else can I do?
I just want to sing (ooh ooh ooh)
I know you all can hear me
Is it loud enough for you
Here's what is in my heart
I am giving it all to you
ooh its all I ever wanted
Making music from my heart
I’m taking down the walls that
blocked me from the start
Fear is chasing me
Up this mountain, so steep so high
I will stand and sing from the edge
I have all I need to fly
and my voice will shine out
reaching straight into your soul
it stirs up something deep inside
and honey that's my goal
That first step through the mirror its a doozy
I never know how far I’m gonna fall
I’m gonna have to drink some bitter potion
If I want to be the queen of it all
At home I was uncomfortable but safe
I learned my lessons well but hated every day / Down
here I don’t know anything and that’s ok
Cause I just grew twice my size in a day
I am Alice in a Wonderland
The rabbit’s hole, well it took me down
I am admitting I was wrong and
All the things I knew were upside down
Caterpillars love to give advice
He tells me what I’m saying don’t feel right
Even at the party where time stands still
There's still judgment from the seat to my right
Each flower has a bark and a bite
Every dog has its day but a darker night
Each knight in shining armor is his own worst enemy
Cheshire cat and me, we‘re just crazy
Maybe I was wrong, no I definitely was
This door somehow grew to fit me through
Maybe I can grow, every time I close my eyes
And Let myself believe what can’t be true.
I am Alice in a Wonderland
Stepped into myself and turned around
I am admitting I was wrong and
All the things I knew were upside down
In this new world I don’t know who I am
I could be just a pawn or a queen
Maybe who I am is mine to choose now
Because “Life, what is it but a dream?”
What you see is what you get
Tale as old as fire
You can see a rose with thorns
or fabric on a wire
When you see me what do you get?
Give me space to choose
the rose in me may smell as sweet
and you've got nothing to lose
Good only hangs around with its friends
mercy, forgiveness and faith
Happy is only a sad moment gone
and I put the smile on your face
What you say is what they hear
So take care with your voice
sing your songs of love and grace
they are the easy choice
Why the struggle, why the strife?
I've got a hold of you
Please remember this is my life
You've got to hold me too
As long as we draw our own bridge over
Love will be holding us two
What you see is what you get
heard it all before
if what you get comes from your heart
there will always be more
and you've got nothing to lose
If I tell you to close your eyes
would you do it for me?
If I ask you to lay down
would you do it for me?
If I ask you to be still
would you do it for me?
If I ask you to lay down
would you lay down easy?
If I needed some love would you
save some for me?
If I needed some touch would you
just hold me?
If I needed music would you
sing to me?
Would you come with me and
lay down easy?
So many nights turning around
in our beds in our beds in our beds
So many worries spinning around
in our heads in our heads in our heads
Just can't relax we get ourselves stressed
so stressed so stressed
It never will stop it never will stop
unless unless unless
we try to
lay down
we try to
be still
its time to
rest baby
its time to lay down easy
There is nothing to fear so
Lay down easy
I will always be here so
Breathe easy
Will you always be here for me baby
Would you remind me to
Lay down easy
I reach my hand out to feel the rain
Your hand reaches out to mine
I never needed someone to claim
You came to help me shine
And its a new era
We’re learning how to do it right this time
Its a new era
for the rest of our lives
Did you know that I’m not perfect
I’m gonna say something wrong
Did you know you’re not perfect either
But our challenges will make us strong
All through the pages of my history
All of the hearts I met that weren’t for me
I didn’t know if you were real, you see
Now what I want is right in front of me
I reach for a brush to paint my life
Your hand reaches out to mine
I never needed another eye
But your palette compliments mine
Looking for comfort where there's only greed
short-haired girls long-haired boys, everybody in between
but nobody is who I want them to be
they give no comfort to me
there's no comfort in a perfect life
no love on a pedestal
no happiness in your garbage can
no comfort in a plan
there's no angel that comes down from heaven
no yellow brick road along your way
no amount of ice cream will answer your prayers
just like there's no comfort anyway
Reading the written history of my life,
pages left empty for songs I always meant to write
I thought I needed someone to make my heart expand
but there's no comfort in a man
Now I sit and ask myself why I cry
after a day of anxious tears
Sorrow comes from the same place comfort also lies:
in my own heart, all these years.
I decide to give in if I have to live in
this every day life of fear...
I decide to be happy right here.
Bittersweet
Tonic and bitter
Sweet and slow-moving
You lift me up
Tasting
Your soul
With just my eyes
You tempt me
Just a taste
Has got to be
Enough now
Distract me
Bittersweet
Tonic and bitter
Sweet and slow-moving
You fill me up
Bittersweet
Doesn’t get better
I just want to
Savor you
It’s a blue flame
in the fire
its the blue flame
lifts me higher
as the blue night
falls around me
the blue flame
burns inside me
Its where I can find
myself tonight
and its alright
It’s a blue sky
that I fly in
the blue sky
keeps me trying
the blue bird flies beside me
in that blue sky
that blue sky...
There I always find
the quiet singing in my soul
you know
the blue flame
in the fire
the blue flame
lifts me higher
When I'm with him
I'm open as a book
when i'm with him
I'm high as a mountain
When I'm with him,
I wonder how I got here
But when I'm with him,
It only matters that I am here.
My love for him
is open as the sea
my love for him
is high as the tallest tree
my love for him
is old as fire
and my love for him
is so much deeper than desire
sweet love
sweet love
sweet love
he gives me love
when i'm with him
my worries fall away
when i'm with him
I can see clear as day
when i'm with him
I bloom like a flower
when i'm with him
I feel love's power
sweet love
sweet love
sweet love
sweet love
he gives me love
My life flows on in endless song
Above Earth's lamentation
I hear the real though far off hymn
That hails a new creation
Twameva mata cha pita twameva
Twameva bandhus cha sakha twameva
Twameva vidya dravinam twameva
Twameva sarvam mama deva deva
No storm can shake my inmost calm
While to that rock I'm clinging
Since love is Lord of heaven and earth
How can I keep from singing?
Twameva mata cha pita twameva
Twameva bandhus cha sakha twameva
Twameva vidya dravinam twameva
Twameva sarvam mama deva deva
Through all the tumult and the strife
I hear that music ringing
It finds an echo in my soul
How can I keep from singing?
What though my joys and comforts die
I know my savior liveth
What though the darkness gather round?
Songs in the night he giveth
Twameva mata cha pita twameva
Twameva bandhus cha sakha twameva
Twameva vidya dravinam twameva
Twameva sarvam mama deva deva
Twameva sarvam mama deva deva